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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24531751">I'll Ask Once More for Clarity (if only to be sure)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyLessie/pseuds/LovelyLessie'>LovelyLessie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>First Kiss, M/M, Relationship Discussions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:54:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,143</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24531751</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyLessie/pseuds/LovelyLessie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Shiro tells Adam to call him by his first name, Adam comes to his quarters one evening with follow-up questions.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adam/Shiro (Voltron)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'll Ask Once More for Clarity (if only to be sure)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>There’s a knock on the door, and Shiro looks up, frowning. It’s getting late, and a surprise visit after seven is rarely ever good news in the Garrison. Still, he tries to keep the worry from showing on his face as he gets to his feet and crosses his quarters to open the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s Adam, still in uniform, his bag slung over his shoulder, but even before the door’s all the way open Shiro can tell something isn’t right; he’s clutching the strap of his bag with both hands and his eyes are wide and worried behind his glasses, set askew on his face under the untidy sweep of his hair. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi,” he says, a little out of breath. “I need to talk to you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Shiro says, feeling like his heart’s dropped through the floor. “Uh, okay. Come on in.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adam nods and steps over the threshold, the door sliding closed behind him. He’s all nervous energy, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, hands restless and fussing with his shoulder strap. “Sorry,” he says, looking anywhere but at Shiro. “I know it’s getting late, I just…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Shiro says, hoping his voice doesn’t betray the tightness in his chest as he leans back against the kitchen counter to brace himself.  “What’s going on? You okay?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-yeah, I - I’m fine.” There’s a tremor in his voice that makes Shiro’s throat go tight with fear. “There was something I wanted to ask, I’ve been wondering and - well…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes and opens them again, staring fixedly at the floor. Shiro swallows hard, trying to get the lump in his throat to go away with no luck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When you told me I…” Adam begins, and hesitates. “That I could - call you by your first name…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not like he didn’t suspect it was about this, but it still stings to hear it, and the way Adam carefully avoids even saying it makes Shiro want to sink into the floor. He never should have brought it up, never should have said anything about it in the first place.</span>
</p>
<p><span>“I’m honored,” Adam continues, “really</span> <span>honored, I know it’s - kind of a big deal, I’m glad you want…” </span></p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to,” Shiro says when he trusts himself to speak. “Seriously, if you don’t want to, it’s fine, if it’s awkward, or feels too personal, or…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adam glances at him across the room before looking away again. “It’s not… that I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>to,” he says. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The cold fear gripping his chest loosens slightly. “Oh,” Shiro says, and laughs awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Okay.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Good,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thinks, but doesn’t dare say it out loud. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just - I keep thinking about it, and - uh,” Adam continues after a moment. The corner of his mouth twists in a half-hearted attempt at a smile. “I mean, maybe it’s nothing.” The smile vanishes and he drops his head, scuffing the toe of his boot against the floor. “Probably it’s nothing, but I needed to ask</span>
  <em>
    <span>.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shiro feels </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> strongly that he’s missed something he’s supposed to have noticed. “What… do you mean?” he asks in the long moment of silence that follows. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It seemed like - like something bigger,” Adam says, very quietly, hunching his shoulders. “When you asked me, it felt like it was about more than just your name. And I - I know it’s a big </span>
  <em>
    <span>deal</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but I need - I need to know what…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He lifts his head to finally meet Shiro’s gaze, and Shiro realizes he can’t hold it. He looks away, shoves his hands in his pockets to keep them from shaking. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just want to know what you meant when you told me to call you Takashi,” Adam says, and he catches his breath at the sound of his name in Adam’s mouth, shifts his weight against the counter to support him as his head spins. </span>
</p>
<p><span>“You’re my best friend,” he says, trying to steady himself. “I trust you with anything. Almost </span><em><span>everything</span></em><span>. You mean the world to me, Adam, I want you to feel like that matters</span> <span>to me.” </span></p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Adam replies, hushed. When Shiro looks up its to see him looking at the floor again, his cheeks flushed red, and his hands are open in front of him as if he doesn’t know where to put them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, you’re right,” he continues. “It’s about a lot more than just my name.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adam makes a soft breathy sound that he thinks is a laugh. “Oh,” he says again. “I - I just didn’t… I don’t…” He shakes his head, smooths his hair down with one hand. “I don’t want to read more into it than you meant.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shiro swallows and looks away, feeling his face heat up. “That seems pretty unlikely,” he mumbles, and hopes from across the room Adam can’t hear how hard his heart is pounding. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What does that </span>
  <em>
    <span>mean?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Adam asks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just that it - it doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to mean any more than you want it to,” Shiro says. “Whatever you want to read into it - it’s fine if that’s nothing, it doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t -“ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what if it is something?” His voice is shaking and taut, his hands clenched into fists in front of him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Shiro asks in a whisper, his mouth going dry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adam won’t look at him; he takes a breath and lets it out in a sigh, shoulders drawing forward defensively. “Ever since you mentioned it I keep thinking about it,” he says. “About you, and your name, and how much it means to me that you said I could call you by it, and - and how it feels, when I do.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Adam…” Shiro says slowly, but he’s not sure Adam hears him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess I never thought about it that much before,” he continues. “But now I can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop</span>
  </em>
  <span> thinking, I just come back to it again and again wondering</span>
  <em>
    <span>, </span>
  </em>
  <span>so please</span>
  <em>
    <span>, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Takashi -“ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He lifts his head, his eyes wide and bright, and with a shock Shiro realizes there are tears glistening in the light from the kitchen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell me what </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> want,” he finishes, his voice on the verge of breaking. </span>
</p>
<p><span>Shiro feels a pang of guilt like a knife sunk into his stomach. “I - I want -“ he begins. He wants to say </span><em><span>you</span></em><span>, just </span><em><span>you, you, you. Only you</span></em><span>. Instead he swallows, trying to steady himself. “I don’t want it to make things weird,” he says finally, “or scare you away, or anything, but you should know - I </span><em><span>want </span></em><span>you to know - that I’m actually...really, really</span> <span>into you.” </span></p>
<p>
  <span>He sees Adam’s shoulders slump as he exhales slowly. </span>
</p>
<p><span>“No matter how you feel about it I still want to be friends,” he adds quickly.  “That’s more important than anything else, I don’t want </span><em><span>that </span></em><span>to change. And I meant it when I said that’s why you can call me by my first name, that’s</span> <span>why I offered, not because of - this</span><em><span>.” </span></em></p>
<p>
  <span>Adam is staring at him, his mouth half open, his restless hands suddenly still and limp at his sides, but he still doesn’t speak. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shiro can’t seem to stop speaking, now that he’s started, because before he’s even really thought about what else to say he’s already talking again. “That’s all I meant, that’s the only reason I said anything, but I guess, uh.” His voice trembles a little and he gulps against the feeling of his heart lodged in his throat. “I guess I wasn’t really expecting how it’d feel to actually hear you </span>
  <em>
    <span>say</span>
  </em>
  <span> it, and man</span>
  <em>
    <span>, </span>
  </em>
  <span>I think my heart skips a little every time, and—“ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adam still hasn’t said anything and he feels his chest getting tight, his breath coming shorter and quicker. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And I keep thinking I’ll get used to it,” he continues, “but, uh - I haven’t, not yet, anyways.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that a bad thing?” Adam asks, very quietly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stops short before he can keep making himself look like an idiot, catches his breath. “What?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe you don’t have to get used to it.” Adam glances down and then back to him, his brows drawn together but his slender jaw set firmly. “Maybe it’s okay if it feels like that all the time.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shiro opens his mouth and then closes it again, feeling the flush creep up into his cheeks as Adam takes a step towards him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know I haven’t gotten used to saying it yet,” he says. “But I’m not sure if I want to.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Shiro says. “Um.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adam takes another step closer, his gaze wavering slightly before he pulls it back. “Maybe I’d be okay with getting kind of a rush every time I say it,” he says, and bites his lower lip as if he’s thinking hard before adding, more quietly, “Takashi.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thrill he’d gotten hearing his name before is </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span> like the one that runs through him now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Takashi,” Adam says again, his voice hushed, careful, and he’s still coming closer, one tentative step at a time. “Takashi.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stops, his boots an inch from Shiro’s toes, and Shiro is suddenly very aware that he’s still leaning against the edge of the counter, unable to step back even if he wanted to. “Wow,” he says. “You’re - uh - really close to me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adam flinches, draws away slightly. “Do you want - should I -“ he stammers. “Sorry, I…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, it’s okay,” Shiro says, and swallows. “In fact, I probably wouldn’t mind if you were closer.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He blinks, looks down and their feet and back up again. “Takashi,” he says, “I think if I came any closer I’d be kissing you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room, making his head spin. “That sounds about right,” Shiro agrees. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adam catches his breath sharply, and for a moment everything is frozen, before he lifts his head a little and leans in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His mouth is warm, and then hot when his lips part, and he tastes like coffee and Shiro realizes he doesn’t hate the taste of coffee after all. He thinks his legs might give out because he feels like he’s melting, like all his bones have gone liquid and all that’s keeping him upright is the fact that gravity seems to have stopped working. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They break apart as Adam stumbles back onto his heels. “Oh, wow,” he says faintly, and covers his face with one hand, the flush in his cheeks visible between his fingers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shiro laughs, breathless, unable to help himself. All the worry he’d been carrying a few minutes ago has dissipated from his shoulders like dew in sunlight, and he finds he can’t stop grinning. After a moment, Adam starts to laugh too, smiling through his fingers, his eyes sparkling in the low kitchen lighting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can - can I -” he says, his voice shaking a little, and swallows. “Do that… again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Shiro says, his heart hammering. “God, please</span>
  <em>
    <span>,</span>
  </em>
  <span> yes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adam leans in again, but hesitates. “Takashi,” he says, “what’s this mean? For us?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you want it to mean?” Shiro asks. Their noses are almost touching. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are we - are you…” he begins, and trails off. “I mean, do you want to - to date</span>
  <em>
    <span>?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Is that what this is?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shiro takes a sharp breath and lets it out in a shaky sigh. “Would you want to?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adam considers this, raising a hand to reach for his arm, but he draws back. “Are you asking me?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I…” Shiro manages, searching for the right reply. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ask me, Takashi,” Adam whispers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sets his shoulders, steadies himself. “Do you want to go out with me?” he asks, months of wanting and waiting put to words for the first time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Adam says, and breaks into a grin. “I’d like that.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shiro grabs his face and leans down to kiss him, and feels Adam put both arms around his neck to pull him closer, murmuring his name against his mouth between kisses. When he pulls away to catch his breath, he can’t help but start laughing again. Adam is giggling helplessly, beaming, almost hanging off his shoulders as if he can’t hold himself up; Shiro wants to take a picture of his face right now - flushed and eager, his hair tousled, his glasses crooked on his nose - and frame it in his mind forever. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So we’re - we’re dating now?” Adam asks after a minute, still grinning, his eyes wide and bright. “Are we actually…?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You want to be, right?” Shiro asks. “I mean, I asked because I want to be, so—“ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nods, the soft warm sigh of his breath brushing Shiro’s cheek as he laughs quietly. “I do,” he says. “I just can’t quite believe it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me, either,” Shiro admits, and lets his arms settle around Adam’s waist, pulling him close. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This time, when Adam leans in to kiss him he doesn’t hesitate. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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